my list of banned songs

as if open stage at karaoke bars is not bad enough...

Now I know how it is to be Simon Cowell, though I’m more of a closet music critic. Every other week I am tormented by the voices rising in the neighbourhood (Exact location unknown. Already I cannot run fast and far enough away from them, they are omnipresent!). These occurrences known as getai is an open stage display of  ‘talents’ and hobbyists, akin to Idol’s wannabes, only more elderly, unabashedly belting out haunting love ballads/laments of material wants in Hokkien/Mandarin and the occasional poppish English. (So you have been to a few singing classes, but does that mean you should be bobbing round the stage all cutsy singing teeny girl band trash when you are, what, 50??)

Maybe that was  bit harsh, maybe some of them do have genuine talents. But my both my ears and entire community of goosebumps on my body don’t agree with the singing, sometimes tuneless yelling. I’m no music connoisseur nor do I have any proper music background, but I know what sound bad.

So here I am, motivated by this bout shameless display of music, coming out with the list of banned songs on my wedding day. These are not bad songs. Just because, like Cowell, I have an opinion about music. Certain songs have a very negative physical effect on my body, which include tongue flexing and intestine curling. Mentally, these songs  cement up my grey matter. Worst possible side effect is when the song stuck and sufferers like me go through a living nightmare of disgusting replays in my head.

Do I wanna be the bride with the funny facial expression and contorted twitching body? Besides, I have a theme to start with.

forbidden songs:

a working expanding song list to be updated as and when I got irked

– Girl from Ipanema

– Cantalope Island

– Take Five

All Michael Bublés

All Norah Jones

Absolutely NO Wonder Girls ( Shame on you, if you have this on your ipod!)

– The Look of Love

– Soul Bossa Nova

– At Last

– Let’s Stay Together

– You’re the Inspiration

– Bubbly

– Love Story

– The Reason

– Canon in D

– Claire de Lune

– Agua De Beber

– My Little Suede Shoes


3 thoughts on “my list of banned songs

  1. Don’t forget….YMCA, Electric Slide, the Cha-cha Slide, the Tootsie Roll, the Hokey Pokey, the Chicken Dance…really any Polka, the Bunny Hop, and pretty much any song that requires group participation or a Conga line…just sayin (At least those are all no-no’s on my list..hahaha)

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