5 signs of Brapression

Wonderbra

Julia Nolan of Wonderbra said: Rigorous testing- Hundreds of hours were spent making sure the bra stayed up during dancing, bending and jumping

Extracted from The Daily Mail:

Wonderbra spent two years researching and developing the technology with Cambridge-based innovators, as well as spending hundreds of hours in testing to create the ‘hands’, which are invisible from the outside…Wonderbra's new Ultimate Strapless bra

…’This unique technology lifts the weight of the bust, supports and gives a trusted Wonderbra cleavage. We have created a groundbreaking garment giving women the perfect solution to the age old strapless bra problem,’ added Julia.

I believe you, Wonderbra, I really do! You worked your wonders, you made me so proud of my girls, you didn’t fail me at all when you said you will hold on no matter what. But perhaps you held on a little too well. I am looking at my wounds now and admittedly, I’m suffering from Brapression.

5 Signs you are a victim of Brapression

1. Denial. “Don’t be ridiculous! Blisters only happen to mistreated feet and from the occasional ironing mishap. These… are mozzie bites round my back!”

2. Anger. First 1 hour of putting on your strapless bra: Am I feeling good or what! 3 hours later when stretching for the bus bell, a folder on the next desk or a book on a high shelf becomes a constrained movement: Bugger! Seconds later when you managed to reach whatever you were reaching for and your bra didn’t bulge at all but your skin decided to give way a bit: WHY ME!? $80 bra, $50 body lotion… all for naught..OOAWCCH!

3. Bargaining. ” Never mind. I’ll get used to it. Maybe my skin will grow its own protective layer against lined silicone. I’ll just choose to move my butt next time. And you, my strapless bra, just keep me strap-free and supported in my SunnySingaporewear.

4. Depression. ” Does it matter at all? I’ll just be one of those girls with mismatched bra straps showing or that girl-who-keeps-pulling-up-her-bra. Nobody sees my sacrifice anyway.”

5. Acceptance. When you open your underwear drawer and decides to wear your strapless bra with your favourite spaghetti top. That’s when you know it’s a vicious vicious cycle, and you go right back to Denial.

Just like me. I choose to pass the buck to the lined silicone around the bra, my Wonderbra is perfect. They make me perfect. Damn you Silicone!

******

Brapression sufferers, the quest for the perfect strapless bra goes on. Never despair!